I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
