This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
