its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
