how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
