i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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