Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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