This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
