My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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