who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
