he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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