Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Gay?
German.
Pity.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
