I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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