so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
