I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
