Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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