So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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