the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Mom said you looked used
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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