Life is so much better after having sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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