Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
