the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
