That's intense
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
