I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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