You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
