im gay
i know
yea but for you.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
