Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
