Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
In America we eat man semen.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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