what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
