I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize