Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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