Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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