last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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