so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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