you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
