You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
