You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
