WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
