you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
