Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
