yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
