Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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