I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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