I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
