You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
