Plan B is the new Plan A
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
