Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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