I want to walk on stilts...naked
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
