Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
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You. Win. At. Life.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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