That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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