yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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