Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
