I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
