hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
