Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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