A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
