Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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