I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
