last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
There r osticjed everywhere
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
