I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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