Swine flu is the new snow day.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
